A speaker in formal attire stands at a podium in a church, addressing an audience seated on wooden pews. The audience, consisting of men and women of varied ages, listens attentively.

Diocese of Memphis’ Deacon Jeff Drzycimski gives a talk on the topic of forgiveness and the Sacrament of Reconciliation at Saint Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church in Hattiesburg during a scheduled program held Sept. 25 (photo by David Tisdale)

By David Tisdale

The celebrated western-themed movie “Unforgiven” may hold the perfect title for a documentary on mankind’s longstanding attitudes on contrition.

The Diocese of Memphis’ Deacon Jeff Drzycimski made a special presentation on the topic of forgiveness at Saint Thomas Catholic Church in Hattiesburg Sept. 25, and in it touched on the scores of “unforgiven” around us — not just who we’re holding a grudge against, but those among the faithful who fail to take advantage of the sacrament of reconciliation.

He asserted that failure to reconcile with others and with God is keeping most of us from realizing our potential to be the best of what God has planned for our lives.

“It’s a box a lot of people are in, so many are experiencing life this way,” he said. “We drag the weight of our unforgiveness around with us through life, and it devastates us.

“It’s [not forgiving] Satan on our shoulder, telling us, ‘It’s too hard, don’t try.’ He shackles you with it and pulls you away from God with this. But he’s [Jesus] already won the battle. You don’t want to be pulled away from God.”

When we do forgive others, it’s not us providing the forgiveness but rather, we’re a conduit for God who is offering the reconciliation, Deacon Drzycimski contends.

“You can’t live in this world without being wounded,” he said, whether those wounds range from hurtful words to physical abuse and worse. “These are things Satan uses to pull us away from God, to think no one loves us.”

Our burdens – the people we don’t forgive – Deacon Drzycimski described as “a shackle, a chain,” but the good news, he said, is that Jesus knew we’d have this challenge, and that we’d also need forgiveness ourselves. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is that gift to us, when we can go to a priest and ask for God’s forgiveness, allowing us to also forgive others.

Deacon Drzycimski discussed his own struggle with going to confession, noting a 20-year absence from the confessional booth. When he finally returned, he talked of “how wonderful it felt to pour it all out,” and encouraged others to shed their fears of talking to a priest so to experience the same joy of relief he experienced and continues to experience.

“God does not want you to be ashamed – feel guilt, yes, because that brings us closer back to Him,” he continued. “But not be ashamed. Do the best you can (with returning to confession), and God will handle the rest.

“Go to confession – it’s essentially about cleaning your soul.”

Also, for those who worry a priest will be personally judgmental about what they reveal in confession, Deacon Drzycimski reassured attendees they the brothers of the priesthood have heard a multitude of issues similar to their own, and also that the anonymity and secrecy of their confession are considered a sacred trust.

“Some of the main reasons I hear from those who haven’t been to confession in many years is that they’re either waiting for the right moment, forgot how, or worry that the priest knows me (and will be judgmental).” On the last one, he noted, “They’ve already heard it all (a particular sin also committed by others).

“They (priests) are dutiful; they want you to come to confession so that you can clear your heart and so you can go back to your life loving others thoroughly, clearly, and truly.”

For parents, going to confession also serves as a great example for their children.

“Jesus is telling us that (reconciliation) is exactly why I died for you,” he further noted. “Once you receive it, then, you can give it. It can’t be a one-way street with you and that other person.”

Deacon Drzycimski encouraged his audience to “be part of God’s plan to change the world, to save the world.”

“Clear out the debris (through reconciliation) and repair these relationships.”

Michelle Whitacre appreciated Deacon Drzycimski sharing a real-world stance in his talk on how the Lord desires to give us mercy through the sacrament of reconciliation.

“He offered a concrete, concise version of how to go back to confession for people who have not been in a while,” Whitacre said. “This practical tool served as an invitation for people not to feel afraid of confession but, instead, see it as the open arms of Jesus awaiting us to come back to him. I plan to offer it in the ministries I am involved in.”

Whitacre noted that the line for confession appeared twice as long as usual at Saint Thomas’s Saturday Vigil Mass following Drzycimski’s talk the night before.

“I’m so grateful for the mysteries of the sacraments given to us by Christ and instituted by His Holy Catholic Church,” Whitacre continued. “We are truly blessed, those of us who know the goodness of God in and through these mysterious treasures of the faith.”

Saint Thomas Pastor Father Mark Ropel also hailed and echoed Drzycimski’s message, saying that, too often, he sees the same issues plaguing not just Catholics but people everywhere, centering on grudges and willful evasion of reconciliation.

Father Ropel recounted a family he knew that, when its patriarch died, squabbled over who should inherit his favorite chairside lamp. Some of the siblings, he said, refused to speak to each other for more than a decade over the matter. “All because of a stupid lamp,” Father Ropel underscored.

‘We stay in our little box (of unforgiveness),” Father Ropel continued, “and it’s just hurting you. God is saying, ‘Give it to me, let me heal you.’ Not doing so prevents us from fully giving the gift of ourselves to others. Our Lord doesn’t want us to live like that, but rather, free ourselves up to give to the people in our lives.”

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