Immaculée Ilibagiza shares her journey to forgiveness with audiences at Saint Thomas Aquinas Parish in Hattiesburg
Immaculée Ilibagiza speaks at St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church in
Hattiesburg about the loss of her family and forgiveness of the murderers in
1994 Rwandan genocide. Photo/Mary Ellen Edwards
By David Tisdale
“…And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Immaculée Ilibagiza points to that line in The Lord’s Prayer as central to the philosophy she employed to work toward forgiving those who murdered members of her family during the 1994 Rwandan genocide, and discussed her improbable journey to mercy during a two-day visit to Saint Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church in Hattiesburg for a post-Mass talk April 2 and another presentation April 3 during the church’s Women’s Day of Reflection program.
Following the horrific, months-long attacks in Rwanda by these militia groups that forced Ilibagiza and other women to hide in a small bathroom of a home for approximately 90 days, she discovered that her mother, father, and two brothers were killed by Hutu militia during the attack; one of her brothers was outside the country during this time.
Over time, Ilibagiza leaned into her Catholic faith to find a path toward forgiving her family’s murderers and has taken that unlikely position through presentations globally, telling the story of her survival and release of any hatred or desire for revenge to God and Jesus’s Mother, Mary. Ilibagiza put her experiences in writing with two books, Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust and Led by Faith: Rising from the ashes of the Rwandan Holocaust.
Ilibagiza speaks plainly when she talks with those dumbfounded by the stance she has taken – even the most ardent believers of God’s word – who are at a loss as to how she could ever come to a place where she could forgive those who committed such an atrocity against her beloved family.
“Saying the ‘Our Father,’ where it clearly states, ‘Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us’ – to not follow through, to not embrace that, means to lie to ourselves and at the same time reject the Father,” she says. “Being unwilling to [actually] forgive blocks the grace of God.”
Ilibagiza said that when we pray to God, “the power of God flows through us,” and we should allow that power to do what we think is impossible, what is beyond our abilities to achieve, including forgiving others, even those closest to us, who have wronged us.
“When we don’t forgive, we cannot be our [true] selves,” she explained. “Only through the power of God can you do this, so pray to God – he can do all things.”
Further, Ilibagiza implored her audiences to pray the Rosary often, to call on Mother Mary through the Seven Sorrows to help us with all challenges befalling us.
“To pray the rosary is very powerful,” she said. “[And] Just talk to her, through the sorrows of Mary” bringing one’s pain and suffering to her for intercession.
“I lost nine of my family members,” she continued. “I would not be able to stand before you today without prayer and the sorrows [sorrowful mysteries]. We all have pain – everyone is going through something in this world. “She [Mary] will console you – bring your sorrows to her. So, pray, pray the rosary.”
Ilibagiza also advised attendees not to think that they need only consider coming to Our Lord or Mary with a heavy matter like what she experienced, but for whatever is weighing on their hearts. “Jesus will never say, ‘Your pain is too small, forget about it,’” she said. “So, I say, again – pray, and pray the Rosary, and you will feel the power of God.”
Saint Thomas Aquinas Pastor Father Mark Ropel said he’s grateful for Ilibagiza’s willingness to share her incredible story with people everywhere with the goal of advancing one of the greatest challenges Christians and non-Christians grapple with- forgiveness.
“As a priest, what I encounter so often is people having a very difficult time forgiving others,” said Father Ropel. “If she [Ilibagiza] can forgive the people who killed her family members, why can’t we let go of simple grudges, compared to that? She had to completely surrender to Jesus to make it work.”
In 2007, Ilibagiza was awarded the Mahatma Gandhi International Award for Reconciliation and Peace. She continues her work as a writer and motivational speaker, touring widely across the U.S. and around the world.
“She’s amazing,” said Saint Thomas Aquinas parishioner Kathy Schimel. “It’s so hard to imagine what she went through. The Holy Spirit was definitely working through her (to come to forgiveness).”
